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Improving your Relationship with your Teenager

Parenting’s a tricky job, especially when it comes to teens. Don’t despair, though—there are ways to improve your relationship.

Keys to Communication:

Parents often find their relationship with their teen strained along communication lines. A few pointers will help keep conversations on track.

  • Don’t be condescending. Treat your teenagers as intelligent, mature individuals. You can include them in family discussions—and make sure to value their input as you would an adult’s. Likewise, don’t dismiss negotiating rules as arguing, and take what they say into consideration.
  • Spend time with your teenager other than while arguing or pointing out things that need improvement. Any successful relationship incorporates both the good and the bad. Whether it is movie time from www.direct.tv or dinner with them, make sure time spent is worth it.
  • Listen. The key to any successful communication, listening will show your child that you truly have their best interests at heart.

Quick to Criticize? Don’t Be!:

Parenting is a difficult balancing act. You want to look out for your children, but shouldn’t come down hard at every opportunity. Here’s how:

  • Don’t jump to judgments. Objectivity is key; you won’t always like everything your teen does. You may not share their style or taste in music, but keep an open mind.
  • Take yourself out of a power struggle. You can be a concerned parent, but pick your battles wisely. Focus on the important conversations, such as grades instead of clothing choice.
  • Make an effort to know their friends—and not in a judgmental way. Engage your teenager’s friends in real conversations.
  • Praise your kids for good things, too, instead of always criticizing.

With some patience, you can combine being a trusted confident with disciplining. When teenagers trust you, they might just want to do what you ask.

Filed Under: Relationships, Teens Tagged With: , ,

Understanding the Distance

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Teenagers are at a time in their lives when the world is beginning to open up in a number of ways. As they navigate through the changes occurring around them, sometimes they may find themselves feeling disconnected from those who love them most. Sometimes, the gap between parents and teens can seem like an insurmountable distance. Here is a window into the distance that lays between parent and teen.

Teens desire build their identity and claim independence. Nature seems to have hard-wired each person with the need to strike out on their own. Teenagers test boundaries. Many times that equals conflict with those who’ve been raising them all their lives. It can feel like a wild emotional ride on both ends.

When teenagers rebel, it’s easy to wonder where you’ve gone wrong. However, during these years, teens are still developing physically. The pre-frontal cortex of the brain undergoes construction. Hormonal changes that occur though puberty, coupled with finding their way in the world can become overwhelming.  An open line of communication is instrumental in paving the road to understanding. By allowing a frank discussion, with each side given their opportunity to be heard, you can help facilitate a space for your teen to express themselves. Other forms of mediation include support groups and counseling. Sometimes it’s easier for a person to open up in such situations.

Teens are individuals. The issues they may be facing might be common among their peers, but each person will react in their own way. Teens are in a place where they are not yet viewed as adults, but not children anymore. Communication and clear boundaries can help.

Filed Under: Behavior, Teens Tagged With: , ,

Help Your Teen Plan Their College Education

If you have teenagers, they are not as much “children” now as they are “inexperienced adults.” What that means is that college is just around the corner, even if it is years away, and those few years are going to bring a lot of changes in their lives.

During this time, they are experiencing new social situations, grades are becoming ever more important, career aspirations bloom, and college is at the forefront of their focus. Subsequently, they should be thinking about what college they want to attend and what options are available to them, including obtaining a scholarship, financial aid, and the advantages and disadvantages of different schools. It is also important that they consider online universities, which can provide them convenience, flexibility, and even affordability in some instances.

It is never too early to have your child start thinking about college. In fact, by around the age of sixteen they should be thinking in terms of what aspects are important to them when it comes to college and what area of interest they want to pursue. For instance, ask them what colleges have they been considering attending, and help them narrow down a few choices based upon not just their desires, but the merits the college has earned and the reputation it has.

To help with this, consult lists that come out yearly and rank colleges, providing information about curriculums, degree options, the instructors, and costs. A great place to start (and to obtain lists like this for online universities) is a website like elearners.com. This site can help your teen to jumpstart the planning process and gives them clear, concise, and vital information about attending various online universities. By checking out college information early, your teen will be a step ahead in their academic career, and will also be motivated to keep their grades up and make smart decisions for their bright future ahead.

Filed Under: Behavior, Teens Tagged With: , ,

Give Your Teen the Gift of Internet Security

When your teen goes off to college, there are plenty of things he or she will want to take along. That’s great, but as a parent, you’ll probably want to send a gift or two, as well. That way your teen will be reminded of how much you care about him or her, and he or she will feel close to home, even when there’s a lot of distance separating the two of you. If you’re going to buy gifts for your teen to take to college, they should fall into two categories: fun and practical. If you can get them to fall into both categories at once, that’s even better – and it’s also very hard to do. The best option is generally to get a gift from one category and a gift from the other.

One great way to give your teen something practical is to use a Carbonite offer code so that your teen can keep his or her computer information backed up correctly and safely. While you’re at it, consider some computer tools and games so that your teen will have something to use for schoolwork and something to play either by him or herself or with friends who come by the dorm room and want to get together. There are plenty of fun things to do, but you don’t want your teen to be partying when studying should be a priority. If there are things to do in the dorm room, your teen will have less interest in going out.

Giving your teen home decor can be a good choice, too. It’s a great way to provide that homey touch without spending too much money. There usually isn’t too much space in a dorm room, so you don’t have to buy a lot of home decorating items. A few small things will do, and your teen will feel right at home.

Filed Under: Teens Tagged With: , ,

Dealing With Teen Rebellion

Teen rebellion is a an effective way for youth and young adults to attract attention. It’s important to remember that when kids act out it doesn’t mean that they are bad kids, it just means that their is something wrong in their life. Adults have time to grow up and understand how to deal with hardship or miscommunication in their life, but children are not the same. They are young and have not yet had the time to understand the right way to express dissatisfaction or the need for change. By understanding that children who are acting or rebelling are usually in emotional or mental strife, parents, teachers, and care givers can help them find a way out of those problems and on to living a more productive life.

Effective Methods for Dealing With Teen Rebellion

1. Take the time- Often children who feel the need to rebel do so because they want attention. They might have other siblings, or patents who have time consuming jobs, or possibly two jobs. The important thing to do is to take time with those children. And not just time to chastise them for their wrong doings, but time to hang out with them and take them places. Do activities together that show the children you love them and care.

2. Parent Actions not Personality- Parents will often yell at their children for they way they are or the way they treat a friend. It’s important to remember that a child’s personality cannot be parented. Parenting a child’s actions is an effective way to teach them that bad actions are a part of their personality not separate. Their personality will most likely be developed by the way their primary care giver treats behaves.

3. Be consistent- Always punish for the same behaviors, don’t allow children to slide because of apathy.

Filed Under: Behavior, Teens Tagged With: , ,